After a sleepless night I did spend on the phone with friends in order to avoid a panic attack I was knocked out in the morning of October 21th 2017. Did start to read all the chats over and over again and even controlled every single post. Where did I write that shadows and reflections are abstract for me? Couldn’t find it.
But the worse was, that black hole in my head. I was totally unable to say if they are or what abstract means. And even reading the definition one hundred times didn’t help. Could not connect to the words. Obviously my brain had another “User temporarily not available!” day. And so I went back to bed and tried to sleep.
After I woke up at ten, I went to the computer and opened the chat. Wrote: “Where did I say that?”. The answer came seconds later: “On your blog. Under the picture showing that ceiling with reflections and shadows!”. Did open the blog and there it was. Went back to the chat and said: “Thank you!” And while I could feel panic again he wrote: “Are they abstract for you or not?”. And for some unknown reason I said: “I honestly can’t tell you. On some days things I learned or know are gone. It’s like I have no access to my brain anymore. Then I panic and that doesn’t help. Today is such a day. So let’s talk about the weather or dinner.” “Does it happen often?” “Not that often anymore, but sometimes it does.” “Is it some form of Alzheimer’s?”. I smiled and said: “No.”
Past midnight I posted “Lady in red (Solitude)” I had taken a few months before.
And as I can’t go back to the same place 365 days later, I will post a new picture today.